Tuesday, January 18, 2011

My cereal inquisition

Greetings! I am here for another installment of my irreverent jargon. Today, I would like to discuss something I consider very near and dear to me. if you couldn't conclude from the title, it is indeed cereal! Ya know, whenever I am at the grocery store, I always find myself spending 5 solid minutes down the cereal isle aimlessly staring at the treat that is Post cereal. I can never decide! Shall it be 'Cookie Crisp' or 'Apple Jacks' or am I feeling a bit healthy today and should I decide to go with 'Crispix'? I can never seem to make a logical and quick decision when it comes to my favorite dish. BUT, and I emphasize this 'BUT', I WILL NEVER EAT 'KASHI'! That's right, I will never ever eat 'Kashi' or let it even have the privilege of being within my sight while quizzically staring down the isle. Why you may ask?
The reason for this irreverent rant is because the other night I ran into a good friend who was carrying a box of 'Kashi'. I chuckled and looked at them and asked "Kashi"? They preceded to explain that the reason for 'Kashi' is because it's a healthy alternative to cereal eating. Bullshit! Well, I don't doubt that it is indeed much healthier for you than most cereal options, but come on people, 'Kashi'!? Not necessary, I say. Cereal is something you should want to enjoy, not feel forced to consume for simply health benefits. Ya know, last time I checked 'Apple Cinnamon Cheerios' has a shit ton of Calcium and a good source of fiber and it tastes soo fucking good! Even some of the plainest cereals are enjoyable and healthy. For example, 'Kix.' "Kid Tested and Mother Approved". Fuck yea it is. I test that shit all the time and approve of it. Any type of 'Chex', whether it be Corn or Rice (or even, if you're daring, 'honey Chex') is delicious!
To sum up this pointless blog, I have come to the conclusion that 'Kashi' is the type of cereal one will give a shot, especially if you would like to lose some unwanted pounds and start your day off better than if you sucked down some donuts or bacon and eggs, but in all reality, in a week or 2 you will be completely burnt out on this cardboard-esque cereal. Don't be fooled health nuts. I've maintained good health and I've been on a steady 'Lucky Charms' diet for the past month. In the meantime, have fun eating that 'Kashi'. The only thing you will accomplish after eating some 'Kashi' is a successful bowel movement. Truth.

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