Surfer Lingo

I don't know where to begin with this one. I will volunteer myself to give this poor schmuck a public speaking lesson. Better yet, I'll give him speech lessons in exchange for some crucial "pitting". Also, he needs to teach me how to make rad sound effects. I am a bit jealous of those. Very authentic.

word expressionism

Latest assignment with Illustrator.

Dr. Steve Brule and Jan Skylar go for a ride

fuck the naysayers

When it comes to the people that know me, there is one thing that I make no hesitation to hide and that is my love for the band 311. Ever since I have been a fan, which was at the age of 11, I've been ragged on countless times for liking "such a lame band". Well, I never let it get to me. One thing 311 has always stood by is brushing of the negative vibes others spew out and to be your own person and that is one thing I have religiously stood by. During a climate of late 90's and early 21st century rock music, there was a heightened theme of depression and gloom with every prevailing modern rock band. You had Korn, Limp Bizkit (however the fuck you spell it), Slipknot and other depressing ass music. The lyrics were swamped with negativity and malice. 311, who has been a band since the late 80's, changed up the lyrical content and started writing lyrics geared towards staying happy and being positive about the things we have. Why do we need to feel upset while listening to our favorite music? It's not plausible. This off-the-beaten-path approach to making music successfully worked out for them and it successfully converted me to becoming a fan. Ever since the first 311 album I bought, 99's Soundsystem, I have been a huge fan traveling to see them perform live. This past weekend on October 24th I was able to see them for the 8th time in Charlottesville, Virginia and was finally able to capture some close range images of the band at their finest. Hope you all enjoy!

24th birthday problems. My break out on Reddit.

As you may all notice, that is me on the left. Ya know, the one that looks spaced out and on the verge of ralphing. I'm proud to say that the only reason for this ghoulish look is because it was my 24th birthday and I had been force fed roughly 15 shooters up until this point. The hilarity with this image is that the following day my friend, Michael Gillert who is the one on the left, decided to post this image to Reddit.com. His intentions were to slander myself and make me look like some sloppy drunk (which is pretty much me), but what actually happened was that people started rapidly viewing the image b/c Mr. Gillert has a strikingly similar appearance to that of the infamous "Troll-face". The image ended up making the front page of reddit and also one of the top views within a span of 2 hours under the trees portion of reddit. People honestly thought Mike's face was photoshopped, but I can attest and say that that is the all natural Michael Gillert in the image. You all be the judge. Is this man the reincarnation of "troll-face"?

cool as a cat

At this point in my creative advertising venture I am in the process of learning Adobe Illustrator. Here is the first of many little creative pieces that I have put together on my own free time. here's an image of my two favorite dudes doing what they do best: sleep and looking retarded.

Since when has Sean Penn had AIDS?

Snap into a beautiful flower!

What is good photography

Maybe it's just me, but great photography is taking something mundane, boring, or unattractive and capturing its beauty. Grabbing that photo of local graffiti, or unintentional art strewn across the city or in the wild and putting it in a light that it has never been placed in. Photography is simple when one takes an easy route. Taking a picture of the sunrise is beautiful and captivating, but it's expected. There's no surprise aspect to it. IT IS WHAT IT IS. Present an image that is unexpected, but at the same time captivates everyone viewing it because it indeed has that surprise factor to it. Take that weather beaten sullen face, and capture the emotion from it. Exploit its not so inherent beauty and make it yours.

20% effort, 10% reciprocation

The restaurant business is one of those rare opportunities that will give anyone an opportunity even without experience. Instant gratification is the reason why most servers feel content being where they are. There's nothing like getting that chunk of cash at the end of the night. No need to wait for the pay check; the money will come to you every night. With all things running smoothly and swimmingly, working as a server at a premier restaurant, or any restaurant for that matter, can be an enjoyable time. BUT, low and behold the one customer who comes in and single-handedly ruins your mood and positive disposition by leaving a tip that does not correlate with the experience they had. Every server has had that table that seems to be having the experience of their life and they are beyond verbal in indicating that they have had a wonderful experience and then when the check book is posted and the credit card is closed out the tip left is nothing what you expected. 5-10% tip is a number that will turn a servers face red. Steam will be coming from our ears, even though we won't let it show, of course. There is nothing more debilitating and gut wrenching than being stiffed. I'll sum this up as quick as I can, but for most restaurants the hourly pay for a server is drastically below minimum wage (anywhere from $2.20-$4). It's the tips that the servers rely on at the end of the evening, NOT THE HOURLY PAY. Also for most servers, at the end of the evening we're tipping out other factions of employees i.e. bussers, food runners, and bartenders, so we'll be giving away some of the tips we have earned over the course of the evening. So if that table leaves me, lets say a 5% tip, that amount will not be enough for me to tip out the 3 other coworkers. I'll be paying out of my pocket! Long story short, we, the servers, are the customers employers. We work to earn money from you all through tips. If we are shorted than we either work for free or lose money. All because the tip left was drastically below the minimum of 15%. Here's a slight guide to the tip credo, even though it's a bit off in my opinion, but it does us some justice.
To wrap things up, simply keep this in mind. If you can't afford to leave a decent tip, consider just staying at home or going to a buffet because you don't want to be the one to ruin a servers hard work. We're human too and we need the same cash you all make to keep a roof over our heads as well so don't spoil that for us.

Don't Hassel the Hoff.. Or his taco.

Recently I purchased CS5. I have had zero experience with it, but I've come to realize that, with a bit of dedication, one can learn the program on their own. Unfortunately for me I'm challenged when it comes to shit like this. Here is one of my first attempts at fooling around with the software. It included an image of my favorite drunk, David Hasselhoff! And, just my luck, I was able to catch him eating his favorite meal!