what am I doing? Nothingness

That's a good question in my opinion. I find myself questioning everyday what exactly it is I wanna do. I feel so confused sometimes. I have juggled ideas, but none seem to interesting to me. They say 'do what you love', but in my case that would be drinking beer, socializing, watching movies, laughing, and playing the drums. I can't possibly do all those things for a career, except maybe the drumming, but even that is a far fetched dream. I've thought it through and I've always wanted to write. A profession that doesn't have promising endings for most, but can still be enjoyed by all who do it. Currently, I am a mass communication major focusing on specialty advertising, but the more and more I sit through the classes I have signed up for I find myself questioning what it was I have gotten myself into. One specialty advertising class I am currently enrolled in is called 'curiousness'. It's a fascinating class with an even more eccentric and exciting professor, but I find myself battling (you could say) with about 120 other students who feel that they have the most curiousness in the class. Who can 'wow' the other classmates with there over the top performances and there zany projects that show how unique they are. It's discouraging and I feel inadequate, but on the other hand I understand I need to stay positive and I need to find my inner curiousness and uniqueness. There are times I wish I could disassociate myself with everyone I know and everything that is around me to help find my inner self and find what it is I want to do, but on the other hand I find it absurd that in these troubling times we, as the youth, are pressured to conform to a massive conglomerate society that expects every kid to get a proper education and go on and do what there parents want or what the masses expect. I recently came into contact with some close cronies who I went to James Madison with and they expressed how they were unhappy with what they decided to do. What they chose was financing, or something along the business trail, and they all are fretting over the idea of finding a job in that field. They did what was force fed to them and what they thought, an probably led to believe, was the ticket to making the big bucks. Instead they are selling time shares or locking themselves down in a cubicle constantly picking up a phone. Is this what they planned for? Fuck no. I don't want to go that route. I never want to go that route. I feel as though there is no reason for me to worry. I am going to continue to do what it is I love and that is loving others and being a good person. Things seem to unfold the way they should. I'm gonna end this lengthy blog (sorry :) on this note; My professor stressed today to embrace "stoopidity". I am going to do just that each morning I wake up. I know nothing each day and I will embrace it with no restraints.