CHRISTMAS '09: BDB! (Booze, Depression, Bowling)

CHRISTMAS ’09: BDB! (Booze, Depression, Bowling)

Now, this title probably throws most for a loop. How can booze, bowling, and depression be linked together? I’ll answer that with a simply put, concise response: they all coincided on Christmas Day this year. As we all know, the recession has put most families in a slight (to say the least) financial crunch. Whether it be cutting back on traveling, eating out, or buying gifts; most families have had to make specific cuts in order to put together the best Christmas a family can put together. Of course, my family needed to take this particular route for xmas 2009. I knew that there would be limited to no gifts this year and that not the whole family would be able to make it to Powhatan to spend it with the parents, but it wasn’t until the morning of Christmas that it began to sink in. The depression overwhelmingly took me over as my brother handed me the first gift which consisted of the toiletries I had left at my brothers house the previous time I had seen him. OH BOY, I said to myself. The joke was eminent but it was a sobering reality that I wasn’t getting much of anything this Christmas. The mood just wasn’t quite right around our slightly smaller xmas tree this morning (my mom was taller than the tree). Pictures were taken at a minimum and the excitement was left behind at Penny Lane Pub still drinking away its sorrows. After the toiletry shenanigans, my gift(s) basically consisted of an outfit. Before I knew it, that was it. I looked around and the thoughts of getting a cell phone or even a video game were long gone. The first signs of financial distraught were made clear this Christmas morning. The joys of being a twelve year old on Christmas morning were long gone! Oy Vey. Enough of me bitching about gifts, though. It was the question posed by my father 30 to 40 minutes after the frail gift opening that brought on the true depression that is known as BDB. Loosely paraphrased, my father asked us “how about we go out for a game of bowling?” ‘Are you fucken serious?’ I asked myself. Who in anyone’s right mind would consider bowling on Christmas fucking morning? Well, apparently my father did and, unbeknownst to me, my mother and my brother and his fiancée were all on board. I was in utter shock. I made a feeble attempt to back out of the BDB trip by saying I didn’t like bowling, but who really hates bowling? They could smell my lie. But in all honesty I did not want to go AT ALL! Anyway, I was defeated and in the car. I was on a one way ticket to Christmas day ’09 disaster. I arrived to what seemed to be a ghost town. If it wasn’t for the toothless hicks sitting inside, I would’ve probably been able to convince my parents that the place was closed. Unfortunately the hicks got to my parents first. I couldn’t drive myself to talk at this point. I WAS IN A FUCKEN BOWLING ALLEY ON CHRISTMAS DAY. The only thing left to do at this point was suck it up, get a 12 sized ball, and get a pitcher. We could’ve bowled in any lane, but they chose to place us conveniently at the farthest lane from the bar which, to no ones surprise, did not hinder me from going to and fro. It was the worst beginning I could’ve asked for on a day that most people dread to be over. At this point, I wanted this day over and done with. But, I swallowed my pride and finished the game and luckily with a bit of a buzz. As the game wrapped up it dawned on me, with the help of my brother, that at some point or another, this day is simply just another day just with a fancy title. I’m an adult and the days of hoping for a new cell phone or a video game are long gone and I must accept that and if I don’t get that, then I musn’t be upset. I am 23 for Christ’s Sake! Now, there really isn’t any climactic ending to this story (very much so like my xmas day!) but I can say that I can take this day and make a joke of it. A good joke that is. At the time, I was furious, but now that I think about it I can shrug it off as just another weird but true story that I have in my ‘santa bag’ of tales. Atleast my ‘santa bag’ of tales won’t disappoint people! I’m sure most people had a wonderful final Christmas of the decade, but I can assuredly say that none had as interesting a day as I did and if so, please do tell!

- Joel_Jameson_jm

The Grandeur Lessons I learned about Myself

Recently I was posed with an assignment to make an instrument and write a song based on a specific location I went to. After putting those things together I then had to perform the song with the instrument in front of a packed audience. My partner and I, nervous as hell, were able to compose ourselves, have fun and really break out of our comfort zone for a solid 60 seconds that eventful day. At the time there was little running through my head besides just getting the performance over with and not making myself look too much like a fool. But once everything was said and done, I really was pleased with what I was able to successfully do. I did something that I had never dreamt of doing nor had I ever done. I was extremely happy for myself. I really stepped out of a comfort zone and was able to break down the barriers that were at one time holding me back. The project itself involved working with a partner who I had never met prior to becoming a group for this project. It was different arranging times to meet outside of school and class to do such an assignment, but it forced us to work together and, luckily in our case, have fun while doing it. It’s amazing how when you work with someone else how much easier it is to come up with ideas and be as creative as you want and with this assignment there was no way to not be as creative as you want. There were no boundaries holding us back and we really let the flood gates go. It was quite the liberating feeling. I discovered the beauty of meeting a stranger and collaborating with them to make magic, to make art. By the end of the assignment I had discovered that I can indeed make a fool out of myself in front of a large class, but still enjoy every moment of it. Life is full of foolishness and embarrassment, but one must embrace the reality of that in order to be comfortable with themselves if it does happen. It’s unavoidable. I also tapped, once again, into a different form of art making that I had never attempted before. I had never made an instrument before nor had I ever written a song, but I found out that it is indeed possible and, if done correctly, can be extremely fun (by ‘done correctly’ I mean with no constraints). Once again, my creativeness was put on the line and tested yet I was able to perform and meet the standards in my opinion. With each of these assignments I find myself tapping into my creativeness that was dormant for sometime. I find myself being pleased and excited when I complete each assignment. To be able to see a piece of work that was created by yourself that involved stretching your comfort zone, or even skill level, you have a new appreciation of satisfaction for yourself and that is what I felt after performing our song and instrument. It was embarrassing yet necessary and fun all in one. I feel more comfortable with myself and my confidence after this assignment.

Fuck Up!

Tucker Max's book and movie is actually titled " I hope they serve beer in Hell". I had previously posted that it was called "I hope they serve beer in Heaven". My bad.

Tucker who?? He's a douche? Ok, thought so.

Oh man, I apologize for the wait, but the creative juices just haven't quite been there these last couple weeks. But anyway, I left my night class today with the intentions of writing about the education system in our highschools and how teachers are trying to hinder our creative powers and capabilities. The arts, music, and theatre departments are being less and less funded and supported in order to make room for math and science classes that are, honestly, constraining students and keeping the youth from practicing and expressing what there true skills are which, in some cases, are math and science. BUT..... i had the true honor of seeing an interview with a real fucken douche bag by the name of Tucker Max. Apparently this shit head has made quite the name for himself by creating a blog, the very same way I have, and would report his sexual drunken escapades he had from night to night. This gent has written some wonderful gems in which only one has been published (what a shame all haven't been!). His three award winning pieces of work *sigh* are entitled oddly enough Belligerence and debauchery: The Tucker Max story, and The definitive book of pick up lines, and his most famous, which just recently has been made into a major motion picture, titled I Hope they Serve Beer in Heaven. Before I rip this clown a new asshole like the holes he's probably ripped in these whores who he fucks on a daily basis, apparently, I am going to give you some Wikipedia stats on this pussy and just let you know about some of his blog titles which are pure literary art! (I hope you all can sense my sarcasm)

Wikipedia facts: "Tucker Tibor Max (b. September 27, 1975, Atlanta, Georgia) is an American writer and blogger. He chronicles his drunken and sexual encounters in the form of short stories on his website TuckerMax.com, which has reportedly received millions of visitors since Max launched it for a bet in 2002.".
"In September 2006, Simon Spotlight Publishing, a division of Simon & Schuster, announced that Max was contracted to release a book in January 2008, titled Assholes Finish First. Undisclosed delays have pushed the release date to an indefinite time.^[13][14] He purportedly received a $300,000 advance from the publisher for Assholes Finish First, and released a revised and expanded edition of I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell in January 2009.^{[15][16][17][18][19]} Sean McKittrick, producer of the ...Beer in Hell movie, has referred to Max's writing style as gonzo."
"

In 2003, Max posted on his website an account of his relationship with Katy Johnson, who was Miss Vermont in 1999.^[30] Johnson filed a lawsuit against Max claiming, among other things, an invasion of her privacy.^[30] In response to the lawsuit, a Florida state court judge issued an "unusual" order for Max not to write about Johnson, to use Johnson's first, full, or last name, to use the phrase "Miss Vermont" on his website, or to disclose any "information" or "stories" about Johnson.^[30] Ultimately, Johnson voluntarily dismissed her lawsuit against Max, and Max's story was once again posted on his website.^[31]

In January 2006, Max posted a thread on his message board satirizing Anthony DiMeo III, a Philadelphian event planner, for throwing a poorly run New Year's Eve party.^[32][33] DiMeo subsequently sued Max under the Violence Against Women Act contesting that some of the comments on Max's message board were libelous and represented criminal behavior.^[34][35] The lawsuit was subsequently dismissed under the Communications Decency Act, with U.S. District Judge Steward Dalzell noting that although Max could be a "poster child for the vulgarity," the law must protect "the coarse conversation that, it appears, never ends on TuckerMax.com."^[36][37]

As a result of the publication of an article that accused him of being a rapist, Max announced on September 2, 2009 that he will sue the blog "Bostonist" for libel.^[38]

In May 2009, Max held a speaking engagement which was picketed at Ohio State University by a feminist group which claimed that his writing "promoted a culture of rape".

Quickly let me tell you some of his blog titles.
1.) "Tucker Tries Buttsex; hilarity does not ensue".
2.) "The blowjob follies".
3.) "The midget story".

OK, now that I have that out of the way, I want to express how I feel on not only this guys success but at how absurd our culture really is. Why does this asshole have a blog that has millions of viewers? Are men going about reading his books hoping to learn the way of getting sloppy sex every night? Are we that fucken pathetic! Why would these sluts also let this guy take advantage of them knowing damn well that the story will be posted on the web!? Are we that fucken amused at petty, childish, rapish like stories? I thought about it a bit and figured he must be the spokesman for all the tiny dicked frat bros out there that wish to be financially taken care of from there fathers, who get sloshed 24/7, hope to get laid every night even if it is not consensual and then brag about it the next day. But what this Tucker guy did was put his frat, rape nights on the internet and to everyone's joy he has made millions doing it. I understand I don't know much about this guy, but what I do know is how fucken absurd our youth society values entertainment. We find ourselves in a culture full of war, death, disease, political and government scandals and entertainment is the key thing we grasp onto to separate our minds and emotions from this destruction, BUT, apparently entertainment for the good majority of the youth in the United States consists of logging onto this guys website and jerking off to his blogs. Not just that, but ad execs and movie producers saw the potential of dumbing down our society even more by making a movie after one of this guys books. Now, I understand I don't know too much about this guy, but I do know that this guy is fucken scum. if you are currently looking at this assholes blogs than off yourself (this Tucker guy sure needs to). Get a life and educate yourself on bigger issues going on. Life is not about modeling yourself after a shit head like this dude, but unfortunately, I can picture it now, frat dudes are huddling around there porn box 'high fiving' each other while reading this garbage. Now, I know this blog is long and a bit sloppy, but I don't care. This guy is making the money you all want by exploiting women! By promoting drunk sex with random, blacked out sorority girls. Please take the time to read this and comment on what you think about this guy and his motives that have unfortunately allowed him to prevail in these struggling economic times. All I can hope for is that this guy gets aids from one of the sorority sluts he has sex with and just leaves us all.

what am I doing? Nothingness

That's a good question in my opinion. I find myself questioning everyday what exactly it is I wanna do. I feel so confused sometimes. I have juggled ideas, but none seem to interesting to me. They say 'do what you love', but in my case that would be drinking beer, socializing, watching movies, laughing, and playing the drums. I can't possibly do all those things for a career, except maybe the drumming, but even that is a far fetched dream. I've thought it through and I've always wanted to write. A profession that doesn't have promising endings for most, but can still be enjoyed by all who do it. Currently, I am a mass communication major focusing on specialty advertising, but the more and more I sit through the classes I have signed up for I find myself questioning what it was I have gotten myself into. One specialty advertising class I am currently enrolled in is called 'curiousness'. It's a fascinating class with an even more eccentric and exciting professor, but I find myself battling (you could say) with about 120 other students who feel that they have the most curiousness in the class. Who can 'wow' the other classmates with there over the top performances and there zany projects that show how unique they are. It's discouraging and I feel inadequate, but on the other hand I understand I need to stay positive and I need to find my inner curiousness and uniqueness. There are times I wish I could disassociate myself with everyone I know and everything that is around me to help find my inner self and find what it is I want to do, but on the other hand I find it absurd that in these troubling times we, as the youth, are pressured to conform to a massive conglomerate society that expects every kid to get a proper education and go on and do what there parents want or what the masses expect. I recently came into contact with some close cronies who I went to James Madison with and they expressed how they were unhappy with what they decided to do. What they chose was financing, or something along the business trail, and they all are fretting over the idea of finding a job in that field. They did what was force fed to them and what they thought, an probably led to believe, was the ticket to making the big bucks. Instead they are selling time shares or locking themselves down in a cubicle constantly picking up a phone. Is this what they planned for? Fuck no. I don't want to go that route. I never want to go that route. I feel as though there is no reason for me to worry. I am going to continue to do what it is I love and that is loving others and being a good person. Things seem to unfold the way they should. I'm gonna end this lengthy blog (sorry :) on this note; My professor stressed today to embrace "stoopidity". I am going to do just that each morning I wake up. I know nothing each day and I will embrace it with no restraints.

hey buddy you want my money? So do I!

Hello hello hello. I have a jackhammer going off in my head right now and I feel like there is an earthquake rumbling away in my stomach. Not good... Anyway, I start my blog today talking about the homeless epidemic that is going on. I walk out of my apartment in Richmond Virginia and there is a homeless ass clown begging me for money. I always say no because unlike other people I have common sense. Just yesterday I saw some bum, riding a bike which amazed me, stop and ask two girls for money. The one girl immediately went into her purse and I was quite pissed. Pissed at her for being soo impressionable and pissed at the grimy, shit covered, alcoholic rat that was peddling her. I made sure to make eye contact with that asshole and very slowly when we both were locked in I shook my head. A seemingly harmless gesture, but I wanted to nonverbally communicate to him, "Don't ever ask me for money!". It's that kind of shit that I cannot stand. I would rather defecate, vomit, and urinate all over my change and 1$ bills than give it to those guys. Ok, let's just put it into persepective. Everytime you walk out of that 711 and there is that one toothless slime fuck eyeing you for money and you, of course, dig deep into your pocket and pull out some measly incriment of money, do you honestly think he is putting that away somewhere? Some place that is collecting intrest on his change and $1 bill collections? FUCK NO! He is gonna save up that money until he get's umm... let's see.. a 40 oz. of steel reserve is about $2 and some change? So, whenever he get's that amount of money his bum ass will stumble into the 711 so he can get is drink on. He's not going to the local thrift store to buy new clothes nor is he going to a shelter, which they have let it be known, to get cleaned up. Instead his stanky rotting corpse of a body would much rather get fucked up and stumble to his local bus stop and go to sleep on a filthy bench and do the same thing the following day. What a life huh? So anyway, I am going to hare some words of wisdon for all you idiots out there who actually give money to these people. Take that 2 or 3 bucks, grab a lighter or a match whatever you prefer and burn that money. Or better yet, eat that money. Or even use it as toilet paper. I could go on, but these are just as pointless as handing your money over to some bum who has a sign that says "economy suks. Tough times. Anything helps".

who cares honestly about Labor Day?

Labor day is one of those absurd, let's go on vacation for no apparent reason, holiday. People make quite a big deal out of this day. it's an extended weekend by ONE day. Have fun on labor day doing nothing. Tuesday is still gonna suck.

and in the beginning, there was absolutely nothing

So, I guess I will start my blogging by simply introducing myself. My name is Joe Brooks, but because that is the lamest fucken name out there I added an L to the ending of my name and threw Jameson as my last name as opposed to one of the most common last names, Brooks. So, I would like to be referred to as Joel Jameson. If you think this is a stupid fucken name, than please let me know that way I can tell you to piss off b/c I could honestly care less. Ok, so I am currently a student at Virginia Commonwealth University or better known as VCU. This was not the school I ever attended on going to, but because I was an alcohol abusing partier at James Madison I had no choice. Anyway, now that I am stuck here for the next 2 or so years (depends on how serious I take it) I better make the most of it. I am a mass communications major with a focus on specialty advertising, but my real passion is writing and being creative. My goal in life is either to be a pitchman or a creator of gameshows (I have a gameshow gem in the works!). My one pet peeve is the publics obbession with celebrities and socialites. Actually I have many pet peeves but this one esspecially rubs me the wrong way. if I turn on that god forsaken channell, VH1, one more time and see a show entitled "celebrity eye candy: celebrities who splurg!" I will fucken jump off a bridge! Since I have no control over that, I better find the nearest bridge because I am sure I will see a show like that within the following week. In all seriousness though, why is it that people are so fixated on this garbage? Ahh, this diet green tea tastes like urin, that is if I knew what urin tasted like. Sorry, went off topic. anyway, yea FUCK PARIS HILTON and all of her cocksucking socialite whores. But, what does my opinion mean, it's the mass public that wants to suck her tiny dick. I guess seeing her every move is more important than attempting to figure out this economic ditch we have gotten ourselves into or better yet figuring out exactly what is the deal with healthcare. WHO CARES! The world could collape as a whole, but as long as I have my VH1 and Perez Hilton and those jewish doucheshits at TMZ to keep me in touch with what is going on in Hollywood I am quite contempt. Ughh, the end is emminent, atleast of common sense and education. Soon every kid's goal will be to make a sex tape with a washed up R&B singer and do tons of coke and move to Hollywood and become a celebrity as oppossed to wanting to be a firefighter, a cop, or an astronaut (that shit is soo overated!). Don't get me wrong. I am not attacking the talent that is with most actors and actresses nor am I attacking actors or actresses (well, Christian Bale and Andy Dick suck balls) but instead I am just tired of seeing reality shows and seeing people drool over these whores who have money and pleasures handed to them on a golden platter. Hopefully one day people will wise up, but I highly doubt that. Until than I am gonna pop some popcorn, crack open a cheap cold beer (PBR, just b/c I'm in Richmond) and sit back and watch "Tool Academy 2".