cool as a cat

At this point in my creative advertising venture I am in the process of learning Adobe Illustrator. Here is the first of many little creative pieces that I have put together on my own free time. here's an image of my two favorite dudes doing what they do best: sleep and looking retarded.

Since when has Sean Penn had AIDS?

Snap into a beautiful flower!

What is good photography

Maybe it's just me, but great photography is taking something mundane, boring, or unattractive and capturing its beauty. Grabbing that photo of local graffiti, or unintentional art strewn across the city or in the wild and putting it in a light that it has never been placed in. Photography is simple when one takes an easy route. Taking a picture of the sunrise is beautiful and captivating, but it's expected. There's no surprise aspect to it. IT IS WHAT IT IS. Present an image that is unexpected, but at the same time captivates everyone viewing it because it indeed has that surprise factor to it. Take that weather beaten sullen face, and capture the emotion from it. Exploit its not so inherent beauty and make it yours.

20% effort, 10% reciprocation

The restaurant business is one of those rare opportunities that will give anyone an opportunity even without experience. Instant gratification is the reason why most servers feel content being where they are. There's nothing like getting that chunk of cash at the end of the night. No need to wait for the pay check; the money will come to you every night. With all things running smoothly and swimmingly, working as a server at a premier restaurant, or any restaurant for that matter, can be an enjoyable time. BUT, low and behold the one customer who comes in and single-handedly ruins your mood and positive disposition by leaving a tip that does not correlate with the experience they had. Every server has had that table that seems to be having the experience of their life and they are beyond verbal in indicating that they have had a wonderful experience and then when the check book is posted and the credit card is closed out the tip left is nothing what you expected. 5-10% tip is a number that will turn a servers face red. Steam will be coming from our ears, even though we won't let it show, of course. There is nothing more debilitating and gut wrenching than being stiffed. I'll sum this up as quick as I can, but for most restaurants the hourly pay for a server is drastically below minimum wage (anywhere from $2.20-$4). It's the tips that the servers rely on at the end of the evening, NOT THE HOURLY PAY. Also for most servers, at the end of the evening we're tipping out other factions of employees i.e. bussers, food runners, and bartenders, so we'll be giving away some of the tips we have earned over the course of the evening. So if that table leaves me, lets say a 5% tip, that amount will not be enough for me to tip out the 3 other coworkers. I'll be paying out of my pocket! Long story short, we, the servers, are the customers employers. We work to earn money from you all through tips. If we are shorted than we either work for free or lose money. All because the tip left was drastically below the minimum of 15%. Here's a slight guide to the tip credo, even though it's a bit off in my opinion, but it does us some justice.
To wrap things up, simply keep this in mind. If you can't afford to leave a decent tip, consider just staying at home or going to a buffet because you don't want to be the one to ruin a servers hard work. We're human too and we need the same cash you all make to keep a roof over our heads as well so don't spoil that for us.

Don't Hassel the Hoff.. Or his taco.

Recently I purchased CS5. I have had zero experience with it, but I've come to realize that, with a bit of dedication, one can learn the program on their own. Unfortunately for me I'm challenged when it comes to shit like this. Here is one of my first attempts at fooling around with the software. It included an image of my favorite drunk, David Hasselhoff! And, just my luck, I was able to catch him eating his favorite meal!

CHRISTMAS '09: BDB! (Booze, Depression, Bowling)

CHRISTMAS ’09: BDB! (Booze, Depression, Bowling)

Now, this title probably throws most for a loop. How can booze, bowling, and depression be linked together? I’ll answer that with a simply put, concise response: they all coincided on Christmas Day this year. As we all know, the recession has put most families in a slight (to say the least) financial crunch. Whether it be cutting back on traveling, eating out, or buying gifts; most families have had to make specific cuts in order to put together the best Christmas a family can put together. Of course, my family needed to take this particular route for xmas 2009. I knew that there would be limited to no gifts this year and that not the whole family would be able to make it to Powhatan to spend it with the parents, but it wasn’t until the morning of Christmas that it began to sink in. The depression overwhelmingly took me over as my brother handed me the first gift which consisted of the toiletries I had left at my brothers house the previous time I had seen him. OH BOY, I said to myself. The joke was eminent but it was a sobering reality that I wasn’t getting much of anything this Christmas. The mood just wasn’t quite right around our slightly smaller xmas tree this morning (my mom was taller than the tree). Pictures were taken at a minimum and the excitement was left behind at Penny Lane Pub still drinking away its sorrows. After the toiletry shenanigans, my gift(s) basically consisted of an outfit. Before I knew it, that was it. I looked around and the thoughts of getting a cell phone or even a video game were long gone. The first signs of financial distraught were made clear this Christmas morning. The joys of being a twelve year old on Christmas morning were long gone! Oy Vey. Enough of me bitching about gifts, though. It was the question posed by my father 30 to 40 minutes after the frail gift opening that brought on the true depression that is known as BDB. Loosely paraphrased, my father asked us “how about we go out for a game of bowling?” ‘Are you fucken serious?’ I asked myself. Who in anyone’s right mind would consider bowling on Christmas fucking morning? Well, apparently my father did and, unbeknownst to me, my mother and my brother and his fiancée were all on board. I was in utter shock. I made a feeble attempt to back out of the BDB trip by saying I didn’t like bowling, but who really hates bowling? They could smell my lie. But in all honesty I did not want to go AT ALL! Anyway, I was defeated and in the car. I was on a one way ticket to Christmas day ’09 disaster. I arrived to what seemed to be a ghost town. If it wasn’t for the toothless hicks sitting inside, I would’ve probably been able to convince my parents that the place was closed. Unfortunately the hicks got to my parents first. I couldn’t drive myself to talk at this point. I WAS IN A FUCKEN BOWLING ALLEY ON CHRISTMAS DAY. The only thing left to do at this point was suck it up, get a 12 sized ball, and get a pitcher. We could’ve bowled in any lane, but they chose to place us conveniently at the farthest lane from the bar which, to no ones surprise, did not hinder me from going to and fro. It was the worst beginning I could’ve asked for on a day that most people dread to be over. At this point, I wanted this day over and done with. But, I swallowed my pride and finished the game and luckily with a bit of a buzz. As the game wrapped up it dawned on me, with the help of my brother, that at some point or another, this day is simply just another day just with a fancy title. I’m an adult and the days of hoping for a new cell phone or a video game are long gone and I must accept that and if I don’t get that, then I musn’t be upset. I am 23 for Christ’s Sake! Now, there really isn’t any climactic ending to this story (very much so like my xmas day!) but I can say that I can take this day and make a joke of it. A good joke that is. At the time, I was furious, but now that I think about it I can shrug it off as just another weird but true story that I have in my ‘santa bag’ of tales. Atleast my ‘santa bag’ of tales won’t disappoint people! I’m sure most people had a wonderful final Christmas of the decade, but I can assuredly say that none had as interesting a day as I did and if so, please do tell!

- Joel_Jameson_jm